Taking The First Step...

We are now only hours, not days away from my first round of chemotherapy. I would be lying if I said I wasn't experiencing a little anxiety. The drugs I will be getting are designed to kill cells in the body that regenerate or reproduce themselves quickly, like cancer cells. Unfortunately, they will also take a toll on healthy cells that behave similarly, like the cells that produce blood, hair, and fingernails, and line the mouth and stomach. Chemotherapy affects everyone differently, but there's a chance I will lose my hair and I may experience nausea and tiredness. My immune system may be compromised, so I will have to be careful to avoid people with a cold, flu, or other infections.

Part of the dread is not just the unpleasant side effects, but the duration. Nine weeks seems like a really long time. That's 63 days. That's 1,512 hours. That's 90,720 minutes. That's 5,443,200 seconds. But then I thought about another time in my life... In October of 1985, I enlisted in the South Carolina Army National Guard. In January of 1986, I arrived at Fort Jackson for basic training. My world was about to change drastically. I would no longer have any control over where I would go, when I would go, or what I would do when I got there. It would be mentally and physically demanding, and I would lose my hair. It would last 12 weeks. I was a little apprehensive as we moved from the reception station to our barracks where we met our drill sergeant for the first time, but I told myself that everything would be OK. I could do anything for 12 weeks if I really had to.

And I did. And I was a better man for having done it. See where I'm going with this?

Once again, I find myself in a situation over which I have no control. I'll go where I'm told to go and do what I'm told to do when I'm told to do it. It will be mentally and physically demanding, and I'll probably lose my hair. It will last nine weeks, but I can do anything for nine weeks if I really have to. How can I be so upbeat? How can I have cancer and not be worried out of my mind? Glad you asked...

I am a child of the Living God. I have peace with Him because I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. His Holy Spirit lives within me and strengthens me. I have received the gift of eternal life through faith and by the grace that He extended to me at the cross. The worst thing cancer can do to me is take my life, and I have no fear of what is on the other side of death. In the 1st chapter of Phillipians, Paul said, "For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain."

Having no control is a blessing, because I can give it all to the Lord. In the 12th chapter of 2nd Corinthians, Paul prayed to the Lord three times to remove a physical affliction. The Lord replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I have no power to change my situation, but God has all the power in the universe.

The duration is made easier when I consider that I will not have to endure it alone. God never promised us we would never have to walk through a valley, but He did promise to walk through it with us. Not only that, but he has also blessed me with a wonderful wife and four beautiful children to share my journey. I also have a loving church and family lifting me up in prayer.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." -- Hebrews 12:1-3

The first step is always the hardest. Let's get to it!